Living Well over the Holidays

Finding meaningful ways to celebrate the holidays has been challenging over the past two years during the COVID-19 pandemic, especially for families affected by dementia. While the holiday season is typically a time of joy, some families may experience a sense of loss while reminiscing on how things once were. For caregivers, special occasions may also create additional work and stress.

Both hosts and guests should also consider the needs of a person living with dementia during holiday preparations. If it has been some time since you have seen a friend or family member who has been diagnosed, you might not be aware of how much they have changed since your last visit. Here are our top five tips to help you create more dementia friendly gatherings for people diagnosed with dementia, and their caregivers:

1. Provide or request an update

Dementia can cause changes in a person’s abilities, behaviour, and communication (known as the ABC’s of Dementia.) Before attending or hosting a holiday get-together, it can be valuable to talk to the person and potentially their caregiver(s) to understand the person’s “new normal.” The update could include tips on how to best communicate with the person, a list of activities they presently enjoy, and/or dietary considerations. For example, having a bottle of sparkling grape juice for toasts instead of wine could help ensure Aunt Jan does not experience an adverse reaction with her new Alzheimer’s medication. For virtual visits, you may want to purchase headphones in advance to help the person with dementia block out background noise.

2. Create a quiet and welcoming space

When it comes to decorating, it’s best to remember the three s’s – simple, subtle, and safe.

Busy decorations such as blinking lights, musical ornaments, and cluttered displays can be distracting and hazardous for a person living with dementia.  Rearranging a familiar room could also cause the person living with dementia to become disoriented. Music should be kept at a low volume to promote a relaxed environment.

3. Adapt activities accordingly

Plan the gathering for the period of the day that is best for the person with dementia and try to keep their routine(s) as consistent as possible. Setting limits on the size of the gathering, the amount of time spent on each activity, or reducing the duration of the visit, altogether, can help the person living with dementia maintain their concentration and energy levels. When possible, designate a quiet space where the person with dementia can rest or visit with one person at a time. If meeting online, consider offering screen breaks.

4. Manage Expectations

No one person can do it all. Setting boundaries, being upfront about what you can contribute, and asking for help can minimize stress and create a more enjoyable experience for you and other guests, including the person living with dementia. Pick a couple traditions that are the most important to you and the group and delegate tasks such as shopping, cleaning, and transportation. Be flexible - go into the season knowing plans can change quickly, depending on public health orders and the well-being of other guests.

5. Take Care of Yourself 

It can be easy to get caught up in the holiday spirit but difficult not to over do it. It’s crucial for both people living with dementia and caregivers to pace themselves throughout the holiday season. Review your priorities and assess how urgent each task is. Designate time for rest and communicate your needs honestly and openly with your friends and family. Holidays and traditions can spark feelings of joy, sadness, and even grief – try to acknowledge the feelings that arise in yourself and others.

It’s important to remember that a change in someone’s abilities, behaviour, or communication does not lessen their need to be included in special events. By educating yourself about dementia friendly holiday considerations and gently modifying some activities and traditions, your holiday gathering can be more inclusive and meaningful for everyone.